SLOW - 26/07/24

 

Elena: “Do you know how long I've had this (hair) band?  

Dovydas: "Well, let's count how long the landline hasn't rung..."

Communication played a central role in our 12th screening, which transported 25 Aftersunettes to Lithuania with dancer Elena and sign language interpreter Dovydas. The pair sparks a beautifully deep, if unconventional, relationship – but who decides what is conventional?

Slow by Marija Kavtaradze was unanimously loved by the group, with many members relating to Elena’s ‘promiscuous’ character, proposing she doesn’t believe someone truly likes or loves her unless they’ve been sexually intimate. Members shared that loving sex and feeling free and powerful in how you use your body is not bad, and the word ‘promiscuous’ has a bad rap! The opening scene brilliantly mirrors the whole story in few minutes with a man Elena is being intimate with encouraging her to say “I love you” during sex, to help him climax, even though they had recently met. Members were reminded of meaningless sexual encounters they had experienced, which were sexually intimate but questionable as to whether some were emotionally or psychologically intimate

Elena and Dovydas form an immediate connection, with standout scenes including hanging up clothes together, trips to the sea and joking about the landline hairband cord. They make each other laugh, take an interest in each other's lives, and care deeply for one another. As their relationship develops, Dovydas reveals he is asexual – a sexual orientation new to Elena and many in the audience.

The film follows their attempt to navigate the relationship, with Elena feeling rejected despite being truly seen by Dovydas. Some members thought Dovydas had a problem he needed to overcome, while others argued that asexuality is not a problem, (like loving football is not problem) citing friends living happy asexual lives. Dovydas was sad that Elena doubted their relationship, at one point stating "Maybe I’m just not man enough for you." but he was not sad about being asexual. Some speculated that Elena’s unresolved body issues stemmed from her mother’s hurtful comments, using sex to feel valid and loved.

One Sunette noted the film’s ambiguous timeline - we can't tell if the story happens over a few weeks or many months.  Lingering beautiful shots and extreme close ups - especially on Dovydas looking at Elena highlighted his adoration for her. Intimacy is ever-present, reflected in Elena’s expressive dance and Dovydas’s tender communication through sign language, prompting us to reconsider the spectrum of intimacy in both platonic and romantic relationships.

Elena’s best friend is a nun, which members suggested mirrors her relationship with Dovydas – both relationships involve deep love but challenge conventional notions of intimacy. 

The audience was divided on whether the couple split up at the end, with some believing they are effectively saying “I love you, goodbye,” and others thinking they stayed together.

Regardless, their connection was deep, meaningful, and intimate – a refreshing portrayal and reminder of what matters in a relationship. As Kerry said, “It made me think, who will be holding your hand on your deathbed? I’d choose the person who made me laugh hanging socks over the person I’d had the most sex with, please.”

p.s. shout out to Gloria and Anita for the quality baked goods we devoured!!